Hey, let's recap.

I'm poor.

My mood is darker than the sky at 4 pm.

That's all I wanted to say.

You're indifferent and I can't stop smiling.

I've probably been in one of the best moods i've been in a long time thus far. I don't know what's doing it more for me. I'm not getting the best grades at school (but that's one persons opinion, and to be honest, a whole other Pandora's Box will be opened if I continue on the subject) which is what I was expecting out of myself. Yet i'm proud of the fact that i'm pushing myself so much everyday, getting there on time, not missing school and actually doing my homework.

The only thing i'm getting pumped on for tomorrow is seeing Karlie. The rest can go to the dogs. I'm so nervous, it hurts. And i'm not even doing my final practical exam.

Someone called the school today already looking to book with me. Not bad for 3 weeks.

Well, I feel rather disconnected from everything. I'm always in some sort of transitional period...with everything. Once I start focusing on something, I barely have the brain capacity to remember what I was focusing on before that. I barely know what's good for me anymore. Going out? Working out? Which one will make me feel better? I feel like all my efforts go down the drain. I just want to get through these ten months even if that means that i'm going to be couped up for that long and not catching up on what's playing lately at the Cinematheque or which Live band is playing at Shannon's Pub (ugh) then so be it.

Fuck it. I don't care.

Just when things start to go right, they blow up in your face.

Walking out of the salon, I just felt like no one gave a shit how much work I put into my shifts.

Or how much effort I made into knowing everyone's little quirks.

...Or how I lost one of my good friends in the process...


That one may be my fault.


HUGE PS: I said hi to Against Me today. They were across the street from Mason and I on Albert. No Biggie.

I promise this is the last PS: I hope I can afford a Betsey Johnson item one day. Or just afford for her to come to my house and be my live in designer. Only she can give the allure that being at the Circus is HOT HOT HOT.

Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tiered.

So because I don't have a car and theres a 78% chance it'll pee from the sky tomorrow and thursday, we can't go to the lake. Greatest and most productive days off ever.

I'll say.


On a better note, I got myself a pair of Oxford heels. And then I got to work and no joke, 6 other people were wearing some. *cry*

Best moment of the day was probably witnessing some girls' heel break off. Way to go, Le Chateau.

Golden Cage

What is up with me lately.

Oh let's see. Yesterday was of shitty quality.
I left all my school papers accidentally at the bus stop, and only realised it after I got off the bus. Mike (thank god) flew out like a superhero to my rescue, only to discover that 50% of my papers were gonezo. Crying incessantly in the Second Cup bathroom was a giant reverse LOL.

Somethings not right in my universe. I'm completely off-balance. I can't smile anymore, I look like shit, and even thinking about it makes me bawl my eyes out. I can't keep blaming the pill because its been almost 2 weeks since i've been on it. Or can I?

Today was of equal shit proportions.
Why couldn't anyone just have told me that I couldn't get a loan unless I had credit or a co-signer, instead of me having to embark on a cross city bus ride, getting there and telling me this while barely being sat down for 5 minutes. I just want to do this myself. I hate the thought of hassling someone for this shit. I JUST WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL. Fuck, life.

This city needs less douchy, less gay people. (not the homosexual gay, but I can think of one person at work whom i'd love to tell them to go to hell lately) Hell, this city needs more people in general. Somehow, this has been the summer for swarms of Winnipeggers to say goodbye to their cheap apartments and steady circles of friends in order to trade it in for places with better stores, better nightlife, and better road paving. Not fair. C'mon guys, i'm not in any position to come and visit all of you.

Just got a text. Signing off for now.