Sunday, February 24, 2008

There are somethings and some people I will never understand. Albeit, I will try my hardest to, but there comes a point when I've analyzed all possible angles and theories and hypotheses, then sortof just...quit thinking before my brain implodes.

I guess what i'm trying to say here is, that I can't really tap into how a certain persons mind works without asking myself an infinite amount of questions. All those questions really amount up to nothing, and i'm left there without any progress about why a certain person is how they are. Maybe i'm not as observant as I think I am? Or ignorant? Or I have too much on my mind to fully understand? Or do I think that everyone of my friends should be inherently good natured and...stuff.

What I do understand is that people come from all walks of life, and that maybe I shouldn't bring things up that are sensitive subjects to others, whether they be a complete absent-minded comment, or intentional. You never really know what will set others off. Maybe I have a complex in my brain that I think no one will be offended by what I say and that they'll just have to get over it if they are. What it really boils down to is that I don't think before I speak...and it has gotten me into amounts of trouble in the past. No specific example here to be shown, but I can think of a select few that if I could, I would snatch the words and put them back in my mouth. Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where something of that nature is possible.

I am slowly learning to let people know that if they have a problem with something I say, they should speak up at the time. Because, the next day, in a text message, won't solve things. They will only anger me because things could've been dealt with in a different way. I'm notorious for not being able to argue myself out of things very well. Especially when things are dragged on over weeks. Again this is generally speaking, but its good that its now in the open.

Over the past few weeks, i've been doing alot of wondering and thinking about a few situations. I had finally come to a conclusion and a decision, but now i'm not so sure about it. If I hadn't read something a few minutes ago, I would not have gone on this rant. It's not even a rant, its just something I need to get off my chest.

I've decided that whatever happens, I'll be okay with it either way. On the positive side, it'd be rad if it were just like old times, but on the negitive side, if you're happy, then i'm happy. And that just means that I care either way.

I'm never this intentionally vague, but I hope you understand. If not, then communication is key.

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